It’s a fact that young people socialize more. Between evolutionary instincts, their parents’ desires, and pressure from peers they hardly have a choice. The situation among working adults is quite different. Meeting people becomes much harder. First, grown up people have higher standards for friends. We want people with similar interests who we can relate to. Second, careers and families are all-consuming and rarely leave time for anything else.
Many people in their forties claim that they just don’t have enough energy left to go out and meet new people. Putting yourself out there, becoming vulnerable can be quite a daunting task for mature people. Here is a quick step by step guide to finding friends and becoming more social.
1. Make a firm decision that you actually want to find new friends. If you aren’t willing to change anything, no one can make you. Ask yourself why you need a social life. The answer might surprise you.
2. Have a look at your timetable critically. Optimizing your daily agenda is an important step towards a better future and less wasteful life. Lack of time is usually the number one reason why people don’t socialize more. Therefore, better time management skills will help in your personal life as well as the professional one.
3. Find a pattern. Everyone works and relaxes at their own pace. Find a way to weave socialization into your current routine without disturbing it too much.
4. Start small. Half an hour a day should suffice. You’d probably spend this time watching YouTube videos anyway.
5. Use social media. You can contact people, talk to them, and plan things for the future while lying on your sofa and enjoying pizza.
6. Keep it up. Regularity is the key. If it’s hard for you to remember to do this every day, use one of the reminder apps on your phone.
7. Sign up for a club, common interest community, or volunteer group. In addition to making your life more interesting, this is a great way to actually physically meet new people.
8. Don’t try too hard. Groups like that usually meet once a month. Go to a meeting. See how it goes. If you don’t like it, you can always try something else.
9. Be consistent. Words like daily, pattern, and routine keep appearing in this plan. That’s not accidentally. Regularity is essential in building personal life. If you only have a moment to spare in your busy day, use it! Otherwise all your hard work will go to waste.
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10. Don’t be discouraged if things are tough at the beginning. Any skill requires practice to stay sharp. If you’re a bit rusty, success might take a while. Giving up won’t help anything. More effort and persistence will.
