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Life Changes

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Life changes with every new turn, the college life has made me who I am today. The glass door in to the college life paints and paves in a way that life looks complete. Its  like the hiker has reached to the peak. But its only time that teaches us the peak is the base camp for all the challenges in life. Its than we understand the difference between believing and experiencing because life is not fair where everything is not simple like math calculations, rather its more complex than the universe itself.

The material world does not make us change or experience anything new in life. it’s the people around us who guide us and shapes our thought about the reality of life. When I entered college the excitement was thrilling meeting new people and making friends was the best part of life. I had in my mind that these friends were there to stay forever. The never ending conversations about everything and anything brought us closer. Made me a happier and happening person, the parties were on and I felt on top. The car race was thrilling and the whole world was spinning on our beat. But this dream life was not there to stay forever. The mistakes I made were growing everyday and I realize that the goodness in me was dieting in me with every breath. As two years went by things started shifting to the other side. The differences in us were the only thing left behind. It didn’t happen over night. Saturday nights were a part of me as the racing cars were my passion but one Saturday my friend had an accident while he was racing with me. The accident was serious in nature as he barely made out of the burning car. Going every day to the hospital and telling him everything will be fine was all I could do.

I felt very guilty because if at the time of accident I would have shown some courage than my friend would not have been in so much pain. At the time of accident my car was very close to his car and I had the time to help him get out of the car, but I stopped because of the fear that if the car went on fire I will die in it too. This guilt and pain has taught me a  lot in life. To fear from situation and not making the move on the right time will make you a loser in your eyes. Standing up and looking at the mirror becomes difficult. The selfishness in me was the only thing left in me, as I didn’t have the honesty to admit of my fault in front of my friends. I just showed that I care with a fake smile. His wounds got better with time and I was fighting within my mind that how should I get rid of this feeling of being a coward. The best possible solution that I thought was to ignore my friend and this situation. My attitude made things difficult not only for me but for everyone around me.

Things were changing within me and it was then I realize that I need to change things. I took the hard way and changed the college. This was also because of the college administration as my grades were becoming unacceptable for them. Changing the college was like giving re birth to me. A new place for a new me that is what I was thinking entering those glass doors. Buts things weren’t easy at that time trusting people while making friend was just not an option for me. My old friends they kept on mailing back asked me if I was doing well. I used take pride in my friendship it all ended up to be so meaningless.  But as time moved on I made new friends nothing was like it was before but still life doesn’t stop.

Going to college is the most wonderful experience of life that is because we are all old enough to decide about what is good? And what is bad we learn to analyze things. In my college years I have learned the most important chapter of my life that is I have start understanding myself and the world better. I assumed myself to be the bravest person but my assumptions were merely just thought and unless and until we don’t take some action, the thoughts are worth nothing. If I would have stood for my friend that day I would have been a different being but one wrong move has shape up my new personality in which I cannot forgive myself. I am scared of the word trust because I have ditched myself by ditching my friend. This is not I am an extremely selfish person that even whatever happened I didn’t apologized to my friend rather left the college to overcome my guilt. If you take one wrong step, the next wrong step wont make things right. The hard way is to accept and admit your mistakes in front of people because everyone around us is probably more forgiving than we are to ourselves.

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